TJC jokes

These are some really common jokes and I am not surprised if you have heard of them before:

a) The True Jeus Church members are taught by 'culture' to often say Hallelujah, often as a greeting to others in the church. "Hallelujah" almost sounds like "hi" as members use it to greet whenever they meet each other.
It's not a bad thing. But it could be dangerous.

Eg: my mom is going to greet a Malay(Muslim) but "Hallelujah" naturally slipped off her lips! And the same thing happens when she greets her acquaintances. Imagine that perplexed look on the "victim's" face, they must be thinking, "What the... did the crazy auntie just sing the Mr Bean Hallelujah theme song?"

b) The Bible tells us to do anything in Jesus' name. Yeah, that is to make sure we remember the Lord our God in everything we do, and give glory to him.
Kids are all taught this way.

Eg: a young brother in his school dozed off during the class. The teacher was furious and she intentionally called his name to read a passage from the text book. "XXX, read the following passage." it was loud enough to awake the boy.
The boy shot up like a rocket, with the book in his hand, and he blurted, "In Jesus' name I read, ...!"

c) Any questions? Ask the Father.
Dialogue(FICTIONAL):

Ren Jie: oi, Esther, Chi Yang got a girlfriend already ar?

Esther: yea lar, with Shuriken girl ma...

Aily: No lar, he told me he doesn't have any lor.

Ren Jie: how would you know he told you the truth?

Aily: I ... I asked him in Jesus' name! haha.

Esther: Hor, you abused the name of God?

Aily: no lar... it is only right to ask Daddy about our siblings' relationship ma.

Ren Jie: LoL! "Daddy"?

Esther: Did you ask like, "Daddy Daddy, who is YangYang dating jiek? Is Yang Yang telling the truth that he is dating Shu Shu? If Yang Yang bad bad and tell lies hor, Daddy you must ground him! No more pocket money for him for a week!"

come on, share with us the TJC jokes you have heard or experienced yourselves

in the comment column or chatbox!

Smile and laugh out loud, because

"A cheerful heart is a good medicine" Pro 17:22

Yi Rong and I, and his cute tiny mouse throbbing under his bicep

Testimony

In the name of Jesus I bear testimony,
oh, while saying that, I was suddenly backed away abit 'cause, do you guys notice that we are seldom that formal as to start our posts in the name of Jesus?
Well, I've got a little testimony here. Just last Friday night.

My Proton Satria is a manual, a good and powerful car-I must acknowledge. I am so proud of driving it around. But unfortunately, I need to admit that I ain't all too good a driver. Much less while I gotta drive a MANUAL car. Days ago I was still driving my dad's Proton Saga and it is an auto.



On that peaceful night, my Satria suddenly broke down and its engine totally died. Surprise flitted across my eyes and anxiety was growing immense. Lydia was helping me to pray while I kept tryin to restart the engine but my efforts led to no avail. O God, do you have to do this to me? C'mon, Your child is now asking of you in sincere faith, help me to restart my engine and You can let it die once we arrive at Church.

My heart pounded loud when I gazed at my back and noticed the bad jam I caused on the already very-busy road of Genting Klang, and my car was on the right lane, the fast lane. Oh dear...

My phone ran out of battery, and this is one thing I gotta thank God for, that Lydia was with me so she could provide a phone and I didn't have to bear this distress alone.

My prayer took a while to be answered, but not in the way I wanted it to be. My car still failed to restart, but in the most despairing moment, Bro. Fun, a church brother, miraculously emerged out of nowhere, standing right in front of my car and lent a helping hand! Thank God.

Why would he come by at such a perfect timing?! This is simply a plan of our Father in Heaven! Hallelujah! To add to its seriousness, I had been fetching alot of people with that car on that day itself, and God didn't let it break down back then to humiliate my driving skills. Thank you Lord.

Sounds like a boring testimony since it's not some huge miracles, but I do think we should give glory to God in everything we do. So c'mon guys, share with us any graces you all have received, as simple and small as this! Every little thing is a good testimony to glorify God!

Aaron

The Neglected Society

Bro Chin's sermon tonight pricked me regarding our obligation to help the needy, and to serve the society. Actually, I had always wanted to contribute to the society by volunteering in welfare centres like Old Folks' homes, Orphanages or Hospitals. Jesus had laid a perfect example. Look, he didn't just serve the synagogues back then, right? Instead, he traveled afar to help the poor and needy, some were not even Jews/Israelites. This fountain of grace was poured even upon the Gentiles, on whom Jesus was not initially "sent for"(Mat15:24).

In the spiritual realm,
we are the priests of God, the children of light, (1Pet2:9).
We owned an extraordinary status in the eyes of God. And yea, we are NO ordinary people.
However, in the material world,
I am still a Malaysian subjected to the Malaysian Law and Justice.
I am a part of the multiracial society, a part of the human community.
Deep inside there is an obligation of patriotism. An urge to encourage 1Malaysia~

And a will to stretch out to the neglected part of the society.

Let's not hesitate to offer yourselves to the service to the Nation,
as that is also the will of God, (Js 1:27 look after orphans and widows in their distress).
They live in loneliness and pain, yet have hardly uttered a murmur about their distress.

Let's stretch out to them with the love of Christ.

aaronCcf

God Knows

Source: Voices of Children, TrueJesusChurch

Was there, in the Dimensions of Formlessness

a niche to hide the Guilt of the Archangel?
Was there, by a near-perfect mightiness,
a way to conceal a hint of Lucifer's Arrogance?

Was there a Fortress strong enough,
to shield a shameful king from the Eyes of the Almighty?
Was there an Army strong and loyal,
to shield David from God's Anger?

Was there a Darkness so thick and encompassing,
or a Mammon-craving traitor so deft,
Was there a Plot so intricate,
for Jesus to be oblivious of Judas' intentions?

Before Time began, and Beginning built its tent,
God knows.

Before Genesis unveiled her story,
and Heavens and Earth were empty,
yet still, God knows.
Before Abraham laid a foot outside Ur,
on God alone his faith was anchored.
Before Paul made entrance into Jerusalem,
the Spirit alone was his compass.

Before Tomorrow crawls into Today,
and The Day after Tomorrow warns Tomorrow,
God knows.
For He shares our every joy,
and banishes our every sorrow.

we forgive our debtors, You forgive our debts. That's OUR deal. ^^

Strange, I was aimlessly keying in "Rom 2:3" just for any biblical websites,
and its content happened to be about judgment. I gaped, jaw-dropped. Did God just let that happen to mold my thoughts?

"So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment?" Rom2:3

I judged my friend(s), and sometimes I might just make the same mistakes they did. And won't I also be judged for the sake of God's justice?

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged." (Mat 7:1)

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."(Mk 11:25)
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father
will also forgive you.(Mat6:14)
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.(Mat6:15)

Didn't I ever sin and commit wrongs against both man and God?
Didn't I fail to keep my promises to both man and God?
If I pour contempt on an honest apology, won't my apology be despised too?
If I judge others for what they did wrong, won't I be judged too?
I am not sinless; actually I am a huge sinner, yet Jesus bore it all for me.

Won't I bear with that tiny offense just to do myself a favour, as Jesus bore with much greater offenses, much greater crimes, much greater sins, much greater pain and sufferings, much greater heartaches?

As Emotions battle with the Bible,
my bet is in the Bible.

Procrastinate

"I am not feeling guilty at all. I am feeling so fine. I am so selfish. I should be guilty for not trying harder to save him."

It is a strange and ineffable emotion; a struggle to define one's guilt.

"He was a good man." But a curse seemed to befall him with cruel calamities,
"But he ended up weeping to himself every night because he had a family he could not love, food but he could not feed himself, legs that could not walk, mouth that could not talk," He was suffering from stroke.

"I promised him in our first prayer that I would read him testimonies but..."
I procrastinated.
He was a Buddhist, like the rest of the family.
But he might just gain hope if I offered him the salvation gospel months ago as I promised in my first bold prayer with him.

"I brought my guitar but didn't share hymns with him." as I had initially planned.
I wanted him to hear and sing (in his heart or anything) so he might enjoy the sweet melody of praise. But I met with some small obstacles and dismissed my attempt. And said 'maybe next time.'

"He died crying helplessly to himself even if he had wanted to know Christ" to gain hope, peace, love and salvation.

He passed away the past Monday, abruptly.
This was an unbearable loss for most of his family members because he was a good man.

Jesus could help him, certainly; The Holy Spirit could have comforted him;
"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?"(Rom10:14)

He might have wanted to say to me "'Well, how could I, unless someone guides me?' And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.(Acts 8:31)

I didn't cease the time and opportunity, and they both slipped away secretly.



"Men of Galilee,” they said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky?..."
"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."(Acts 1:)

Let's not procrastinate and allow yourself to fall into this dilemma and regret.
May God lead us and add us courage to do His will.