Over and over again

lyrics:
The sky today is so gloomy
as gloomy as the heart that I carry
I walk into Your presence, heavy with sin.
Shame and regrets welled up, from within.

I bow down my head and clasp my hands,
in humble prayer that You may hear my pleads.
Come into my heart, and never depart from me.
Forgive me again,
... and again~

Over and over... I fall
Again and again Your blood is drippin'
Over and over... I lost
Again You shed Your tears
for my sins, and weaknesses.

... ...
Would You forgive me,
if I repent truly?

浪子的哥哥

路15：11-31

一个人有两个儿子。一天，小儿子要了父亲分给他的产业，然后往远方去任意放荡，浪费资财。

他在外享受了不久，财产耗尽了，又遇大饥荒，他就穷苦起来。投靠别人，做低贱辛苦的工作苟且偷生。他恨不得拿猪所吃的豆荚充饥，也没有人给他。

他受尽了痛苦，最后他厚着脸皮回到父亲那里。他父亲极其开心，像招待贵宾似的欢迎他回家。

他的哥哥，站在后面，看着当初要父亲分家业给他然后带着他的财产离开家的弟弟回来。

他看着弟弟在父亲的怀抱，连连的于父亲亲嘴，又穿上好的袍子，佩戴戒指在指头上，还有新鞋子，更被迎接去吃新鲜的肥牛犊，作乐跳舞。

他非常生气，他不明白为什么他日日夜夜在家孝顺父亲，为父亲劳力工作，服侍父亲，从来没有违背过父亲的命令，但父亲却没有给过他任何东西，反而这坏蛋不孝的弟弟吞了父亲的产业，可是一回来父亲就宰了肥牛犊给他！

浪子的哥哥非常不甘心，非常忌妒弟弟。

为什么？我任饶任怨的一直在家努力工作，为什么还得不到恩赐？

为什么他一来就得到恩赐？

我这么多年在家里努力，却什么也得不到，他一来就得到一切，这样公平吗？

我很不甘心！为什么不给我而给他？为什么我带现在还得不到？为什么？

为什么他一来就能得到我一直以来梦寐以求的大恩，而我却未得到？这到底是为什么？父亲偏心吗？公理何在？

路加福音15：31 “儿啊！你常和我同在，我一切所有的都是你的；只是你这个兄弟是死而复活、失而又得的，所以我们理当欢喜快乐”

的确，再想一想。他们在外承受了许多痛苦，甚至恶魔的攻击，伤痕累累、痛苦万分。难得他们还能回来，回到主的环抱中，真的是死而复活！理当欢喜快乐呀！我岂能嫉妒呢？他们平安回来我应该感恩才对。

然而，我从小就一直在家中努力。这是绝对不会错的事。这恩赐，迟早也会是我的！加油！

Since when was I a Christian Soldier?

Since when had I become a Christian Soldier?
Was it when I was first baptized?
Was it when I had first received the Holy Spirit?
Was it when I had first told my friends about the Gospel?
Was it when I started to do divine work?
When exactly was it?

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
(Jer 1:5)

Before the dawn of time,
I was already a Christian Soldier.
I was destined to be, chosen to be, glorified to be.

Therefore, I shall unsheathe my sword and fight to the end.
For if I don't, I am of no use to the Kingdom of Heaven.
And if I perish, I perish. (Esther 4:16)

Be Inspired

One fine day, a TJC preacher takes a flight to travel somewhere.
In the plane he sits next to a dumb person, who can't talk.

Not long later, the dumb person writes to him,
"Do you know Christ?"

The preacher writes back,
"I am a Christian."

The dumb person replies,
"Thank God. I am from the True Jesus Church. You?"

The preacher smiles broadly at
this soldier of Christ.
A person who is physically impaired has drawn his sword in the spiritual warfare.
Are we willing to take courage and do the same?

~Eld Phoong~

Used to Praying (translated)

Prayer has become my routine.

When dinner is served, naturally do my hands clasp in prayer, mumbling
"hallelujah in Jesus' name I pray, Hallelujah Amen."
Before bedtime, instinctively will I kneel in prayer, mouthing the same words "Hallelujah in Jesus' name I pray, thanks for Your grace, may You continue to keep and lead me. Have mercy on me. Your will be done. Amen."

The Church prayer is quite the same,
"Hallelujah in Jesus' name I pray, thank You and praise You Lord.
May You grant Your precious Holy Spirit to me so I become your good child. Hallelujah, mercy and help on me. Glory to God. Amen."

Prayer
has only become my routine.
An everyday act.
So natural and instinctive that I don't need to think TO DO it.
Thus, I've come to a level-up where I can do two things at once.
Something else is in my head, yet the words in my prayer remain skilfully consistent.

A memorized prayer.
Yet my heart wanders afar.
This has become my habit.

Recalling the past, the true communion I had with God
was long history.
Prayer has been degraded to a plain form of a Christian routine and code of conduct.


My prayer, has only been seen and heard by other people.
But my God, has also wandered afar.

My God has wondered afar, yet I am oblivious.
This bad habit is catastrophic, and I am ready to eliminate it!

习惯了祷告

祷告已成了我的习惯

饭菜一到

我自然地合起手，祷告说：“哈利路亚奉主耶稣圣明祷告，感谢主的恩典，哈利路亚，阿门。”

上床睡觉前

我自然地会跪下，祷告说：“哈利路亚奉主耶稣圣明祷告，感谢主的恩典，哈利路亚，求主继续带领，保佑，怜悯我，愿您的旨意成全。阿门”

教会聚会的祷告

也大同小异

“哈利路亚奉主耶稣圣明祷告，感谢赞美主耶稣，哈利路亚，求主赐下保贵的圣灵给我，让我成为您的乖孩子，哈利路亚，求主怜悯帮助我，一切荣耀归于主耶稣基督，哈利路亚，阿门。”

祷告

我习惯了

每天都是这样的重复着

我已经把祷告养成了习惯

我甚至练到了“一心二用”的境界

脑子在想别的事情，可口上还是一字一句的念着那已经背熟的祷告词。

每次跪下祷告的时候

很习惯的我便开始念那祷告词

然后开始想些别的事情来

这就是我每天的祷告习惯。

我最后一次跟神真正沟通

有是多年前的事了

我祷告习惯也只保持着基督徒的身份

可是我的神，不知道在哪儿了

我每天的祷告，只有别人看见

我的神都已经背着我离去，我却还不知道

这坏习惯，必须铲除~！

一位宗教教员的心声

我是一间小教会的其中一名宗教教员

是一位非常失败的教员。

当初的那三把火，已熄灭了。。。

当初满满的自信，全烧完了。。。

我以为这份工很容易

我以为我能把这些羊宝宝们养得肥肥胖胖

我以为我能成为一位有趣的好老师

可是，

我有心有力，却不知道该怎么办！

我想教好他们

我还年轻力壮

但是我却不知该怎么做才好！

我只想在每一堂课成功地把神的信息传达给每一位学生

可是我传达的方式对他们来说好像很枯燥乏味。怎么办？

我想了许多法子，可是全用尽了。。。

没了。。。我不是很创意的人。

我耗尽了那三把火就不再有火了。。。

彻底熄灭了。。。

彻底的失败了。。。

非常对不起神。。。 =(

怎么办？